Dear Dad

I love you. I don't say it very much and you don't say it to me very much; but its true. You work so hard so I can have it easy; so I can go to college and learn. You deal with things that I will never be able to understand; every day you are faced with life and death. How can you do that? How can you just come home and be calm; how can you come home and help with math homework after that?

I have a confession to make; I don't work as hard as you do.

I don't deserve what you provide. I take a lot; I am an expensive kid. You try and show me how to be responsible; you show me what it's like to be a man. I wish I had started paying attention sooner. As I grow up, I'm finding myself more and more like you. At first that was weird for me because I didn't really want to have anything in common with you, but now I kinda like it. I want to be just like you; I want to be able to be calm in situations of extreme stress. I want to be as smart as you, as strong as you, as loving as you. One day, I hope to have kids so I can be a dad like you.

For a long time I was so mad about how you were never there; I never understood why I wouldn't see you for several days at a time. I was mad because Alex got to play football with his dad and you weren't around. I didn't know that you were saving lives; in my 6 year old mind, I didn't understand. All I wanted was someone to throw the ball with, someone to take apart the vacuum with or play on the computer with. I didn't understand, and I was mad about it.

Please forgive me because I said some pretty mean things about you, especially in middle school. I still didn't understand why you weren't there. My body was going through changes and there was no one there to tell me why, there was no one there to tell me how to act. You only got to see me when I was throwing a tantrum or trying to run away. The only time I was around you was when you were punishing me for something dumb I did. Forgive me please, I was crying out.

I see now though; I see why you weren't there when I was little. You were paying off our house, our cars, our futures. You weren't there when I was in middle school because you were paying off my 5 years of private schooling, my college education, and maybe even grad school. You were supporting our family from the background, you gave everything but didn't get much back. I am so sorry that I didn't get to know you then. I am trying to make up for that now; I'm trying really hard.

Why does it take me going off to college to see this? Why does it take me living on my own to realize what I needed was right there; right on the sidelines of my JV soccer games watching me sit on the bench and cheering louder than anyone else when I went in. Now here I am, back in town for my 19th birthday and you were the first one to wish me "Happy Birthday." I am sitting in your office looking at all the clutter on the desk and thinking to myself how similar it is to my own desk. I'm looking at the notes you have taken, the CD's you have, the pictures you have; I want to be just like you.

Teach me.

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More pictures, more packing

I am almost all packed for college, cool? Yes. During the break in the rain today, I slipped out with my camera and took some pictures. Here are 3.

I like it when people like my hobbies

Last night me and Katie went and wandered around the grounds at the Nelson and took some pictures, and I really liked this one

New cars, new decisions

2006 Honda Accord EX-L V6 6M

El Pulgarcito...

... was an incredibly bad decision for my body

Bike Polo...

... is really hard to take pictures of. 11:00pm+dim tennis court lights+slow lens = tons of fun

1/25th F/4 ISO 3200

I love Kansas

...and I love when people that are supposed to be in Kansas come back :)

Now that I finally have a camera again...

Whew, I am so glad I have a camera again, I hate being without it. I have been shooting lots of pictures and buying things that I shouldnt. You can look at my pictures instead of listening to me ramble.

In other news, I've stopped trying to make this a year long thing, and I will just put pictures up whenever I feel like it.

i like todays

today was a day that made me smile :)

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out of the country means what now?

After spending a week soaking my body in sweat working in Jamaica, I figured I would let some people see a bit of what I was doing. Basically, I was just doing technical support for a small school in the St. Mary's parish called Water Valley Primary School. My team took 8 desktop computers and 2 laptops to donate to the school for their computer lab. This allowed them to learn essential skills such as touch typing and how to use word processing programs.
The room that we worked in was about the size of a small 2 car garage and was a.) hot b.) dark c.) musty and d.) moldy, but we set up all the computers along with 2 other ones that were already there. This gave the school enough computers to start having classes for the students as well as adults in the community.

I dont ever want to touch an old computer again.

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another day, another dollar

I dont have much to say about today, other than it wasnt so great. The pictures though? They were great. This one is my neighbor's son Joey, he's two (going on four) and loves the sprinkler.

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all alone with no one to play with

Today we had to put my dog Ricki down, she was 14. We've had her since I was 4 and I really haven't experienced life without her. Up until last winter, she was still a spry young thing, full of life and energy. She could still take on our 100+ lb chocolate lab Hershey, out running him and easily out cornering him. She had been steadily going down hill though, until this morning when she couldnt stand up. It was then that we realized that she was telling us that she'd had enough.

She will be missed.

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Day 2 of 365

I went out wandering today with my camera again and found some stuff and took some pictures of some things. How cool is that you ask? Well, I thought it was pretty cool. My new Sigma 30mm is treating me pretty well and giving me new challenges, which I enjoy.

Now you can enjoy my next picture.

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Link to the full size image on my flickr

Well, I made a blog?

Today was a monumental day.
-I shut down my facebook
-I created a blog with the intentions of taking a picture every single day for the next year


Well, there we go.

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